these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
