She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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