oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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