he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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