physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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