she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
