I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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