I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
