You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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