I love black thongs
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize