When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize