i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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