I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
