so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
