Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
