Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
