Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
