The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
