My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
