I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
