I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
