So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize