life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize