pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
