Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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