I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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