I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
