just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
