Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
