Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so explain again why im purple
no
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
