Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
