But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
