She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
