I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
