There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
