Someone shit on the floor
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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