Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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