well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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