she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
