Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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(904): View more from Florida

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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(406): View more from Montana

I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....

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(209): View more from California

I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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(360): View more from Washington

Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going

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