Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
