this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
