ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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