Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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