I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
