I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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