My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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