You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
