Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
