Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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