Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
