my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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