dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
