I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
