Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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