Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
40s are totally the cure
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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