I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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