dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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