Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
