hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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