I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize