okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
