She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
