ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
