Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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