There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
