my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I want is dick and wine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
