so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
