the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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