oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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